|
|
Tuesday, December 29th, 2009
| |
11:05 pm - Home Again?
|
...What do you do when the place where you grew up no longer feels like home...
But there's no place else that does?
|
|
(3 comments | comment on this)
|
| Friday, December 25th, 2009
| |
7:45 pm - Christmas 09
|
...One year ago I had the Great Holiday Breakdown, which I've come to accept was predicated on a few things: hitting an age I had never really thought past, realizing that my relatives are aging also, starting a massive change and knowing that this is it; adulthood is happening, and whoa boy do I feel unprepared for it.
I was a wreck. A complete and total train-wreck of a man. A shaking, over-anxious, nervous, shattered mess. Enough said on that.
One year later, my anxiety on the subject is far from cured; in fact many of the same notions continue to occupy my thoughts from time to time. But I am managing them, for now. I was able to enjoy my day and the presence of my relatives, and I accept the fact that not only am I not a kid anymore, I am far from it.
As of this writing I am not even halfway through my 20s--that won't happen until March. And I'm okay with turning 26, I think.
The thought has come to mind that it is time to put away childish things; to stop playing games and start focusing on school and my career. But another part of me knows that eventually the pendulum would swing back the other way. I need to seek balance, and start examining my hobbies from a more mature perspective.
WHY do I role-play? What is the deeper motivation and how can I both improve my skills and gain greater satisfaction from it? The first step is to stop reacting with frustration when things don't go my way, and begin examining my options to turn situations to my advantage.
On a slightly less pontifical note, I got a pack of socks, new slacks, a springform pan, a cookbook, new shirts, the Wizard Knight novels, a manicure set, the "Mesmerize" toiletry set, and Dragon Age: Origins. I can't play it until I get back to Buffalo, since I didn't bring home my 360, but that's okay.
current mood:  okay
|
|
(comment on this)
|
| Monday, December 14th, 2009
| |
4:05 pm - Things to do this week:
|
Re-organize the files on my computer
Clean the bathrooms
Clean the living room
Clean the kitchen
Exercise at least three times
Return my overdue library book
Go to the doctor (Tues., 9 AM)
See the counselor (Wed., 6 PM)
Make an appointment to get my teeth cleaned
Do a little writing
Get my christmas shopping done
|
|
(comment on this)
|
| Monday, December 7th, 2009
| |
4:13 am - Magic: The Gathering
|
It gets to the point where a game becomes a parody of itself.
Listening to people discuss Magic: The Gathering cards, I think ol' Magic hit that point about five years ago.
|
|
(comment on this)
|
| Friday, November 27th, 2009
| |
1:00 am - Notes: Hewie Ingram
|
The following is penned in Arabic, encoded into a cipher, in a locked book.
The Surrogate: Vain. Likes to extrapolate upon statements, often believing disrespect is implied where none was intended. Pompous. In some kind of relationship with the Wall-Crawler.
The Wall-Crawler: Believes the only way to get ahead is to be a cowardly shit. May be right; is no less aggravating for it. Expect to be promoted soon. Extrapolation: Shallow, stupid. Expect to turn into an ignorant bully when gets power. Has possibly seduced the Surrogate.
The Magus: Lacks most of the weaknesses from kind, except for ego; supremely confident. The most dangerous vampire in the city, because isn't incompetent. Something more here...
The Long Arm: Obsessed with making self feared? Ham-fisted, cares more about perception of self in position than doing job.
The Wild Dog: In same position as myself. Does not realize depth of incompetence of city elders, and how dangerous incompetence makes them.
Current Verdict: Almost all worthless, acting out pre-rehearsed lines and not paying attention to anything going on around them. But one. Feel contempt for the others, fear the Magus. Hope Wild Dog is smart enough to escape.
May be able to dominate this city... if I can last long enough and not be killed by ignorant or fearful or leave in disgust. Last becoming very likely.
|
|
(comment on this)
|
| Saturday, October 24th, 2009
| |
3:09 am - ARRRGHHHH
|
I CANNOT READ YOUR FUCKING MIND
I AM NOT YOUR BUTLER
WHEN I GO RUNNING ALL OVER HELL LOOKING FOR SOMETHING FOR YOU TO GIVE AS A GIFT, YOU'D BETTER BE FUCKING GRATEFUL
THE NEXT TIME YOU ARE THIS RUDE TO ME, I AM GOING TO HAVE TO TELL YOU TO GO FUCK YOURSELF
I DO NOT WANT TO DO THAT
BUT I WILL
|
|
(2 comments | comment on this)
|
| Thursday, October 1st, 2009
| |
2:00 pm - Roman Polanski OR In Which Austin Flaps His Big Fat Yap
|
Roman Polanski drugged and raped a thirteen year-old girl. No question about this; he pled guilty. Then he left the country. He has, in Europe, had an accomplished and storied career. He won an Oscar (which he couldn't collect). He has created very famous movies.
And now he's been arrested. Several very prominent people in the entertainment industry are calling for his release, using the following as grounds for their statements:
It was 40-odd years ago.
Polanski fled the country because he was afraid of being viciously crucified by the judge and jury.
The victim would desperately like to forget about it, so why do you keep pushing?
Polanski is now an old man.
Those pushing the case have been trying to trap Polanski for years; this is now a personal grudge.
Polanski is brilliant; thus, sending him to prison deprives him of the ability to participate in new projects.
All of these statements are true, at least for a given value of truth. The "personal grudge" bit is subjective, but hell, they've been trying to snare the guy for 40 years; that indicates a passion for what you're doing that delves into the realm of the personal crusade.
But ultimately, the final issue is at what point does fame and privilege (and Polanski is both famous and privileged) allow one to escape the rule of law?
Answer: It shouldn't.
There isn't any statute of limitations I know of that has expired to let Polanski off the hook.
Whatever reason Polanski had for running, it's still a fact that he ran.
Strange as it may sound, the victim's role in this is done and she should be left alone--this is about Polanski and what he did, not who he did it to. Not anymore.
There are lots of old men who commit crimes and are sent to jail.
The grudges or lack thereof of the district attorney and assorted lawmen and women are not the point.
Roman Polanski can still write screenplays if he goes to prison.
The point is, Roman Polanski committed a sexually deviant crime. He drugged another human being--a minor--and had his way with her. This is not really disputed.
Fame and privilege or the rule of law?
Let's find out.
|
|
(2 comments | comment on this)
|
| Wednesday, September 9th, 2009
| |
1:45 pm - Things to Do
|
Gaming:
Check LARP boards. Send downtime E-Mails. Decide on XP spends.
Christopher: Necromancy 5? What ritual? Thaumaturgy (Wanga) 1? What ritual? Thanatosis? Fortitude? Medicine?
Antoine: Serpentis? Thaumaturgy (Wanga) 3? What ritual? Occult, Occult Influence, Underworld Influence, Sabbat Lore, Serpents of the Light Lore
Benny: Performance (Guitar), Medicine, Academics, Melee, Brawl, Firearms. Celerity. Brujah Lore, Camarilla Lore.
Luca: Political Influence, Melee, Celerity, Academics. Toreador Lore, Camarilla Lore.
Atlanta: Evening Red: Finish magic packet. Continue work on city packet.
Classwork:
Find book on Native American culture. Post.
Read "Hotlanta" and "Gossip Girl" (I might just skim these...)
|
|
(comment on this)
|
| Sunday, August 30th, 2009
| |
9:28 pm - Canada: In which Austin is dumb, but has a great time. On the whole.
|
Toronto, Canada. Where the people are mostly polite, the air is surprisingly clean and everything is really effing expensive.
We left Buffalo in the early afternoon and ran into traffic at the border (it was funny, how everyone was trying to get into Canada and nobody was leaving). Uneventful drive was uneventful.
We got into Canada at about 6:00 and after a brief stop-off at the hostel to divest ourselves of our bags we strolled on down to the convention center and got our tickets. For a big con, not bad; $49 Canadian. Then we hit the Dealer's Room. And holy mecca of stuff to buy, Batman.
There were the usual gamut of sellers. Comic books, their wares spread out all over; action figures, T-Shirt artists, and a surprising number of local theater groups and filmmakers. Artist's Alley was lean, but there were a few big names. I got a Cobra Commander done by the guy who drew G.I. Joe before they rebooted the franchise. $15.
The Iron Sheik and the Honky Tonk Man were both there. HTM still looks pretty good, but the Iron Sheik is on his last legs, poor guy. I saw him getting into a wheelchair on Saturday night. I got autographs from both of them. That was $40.
I got a T-Shirt, which was $20, and was given another as free swag; I also bought an $18 dollar Conan comic.
As far as celebrity content, there were lots; Leonard Nimoy headlined the convention (but you needed a special ticket, bought separate, to see him), arguably as many people were there for Bruce Campbell. I was there for Billy Dee Williams. Leslie Nielsen was there as part of a movie panel--he's just as off-the-wall in person, and the kid from Terminator: Salvation was giving out free autographs. I didn't get one. Avery Brooks, Robert Duncan McNeil, Lou Ferrigno, and of course, Billy Dee Williams.
I got BDW's autograph for my buddy James; another $40.
I attended two panels; Avery Brooks' on Saturday, and Billy Dee Williams' on Sunday. Both were cool. As far as sheer velvet goes, Avery Brooks brought the house down; girls were practically throwing their panties at the man. He was c-o-o-l. He discussed the deeper meaning of Star Trek; he sang a spiritual to the crowd on request. He was the man.
Billy Dee Williams was also cool, admittedly in a more subdued, less velvet way. He laughed with the crowd, he chatted us up, he told stories--but seemed tired. It was when he got to discussing acting that he got fired up. He made the entire crowd jump out of their chairs, he recited Shakespeare--beautifully. He discussed how the Sarlacc Pit looked like a giant vagina. He talked about being a pitchman for Colt 45. He talked about Robot Chicken. He was awesome.
I didn't know he was a painter by preference.
Saturday night we stopped at a british pub - the Elephant and Castle - and I racked up a $40 dollar dinner, but it was delicious. So delicious. Bangers and Mash is one of the best things I have ever eaten, no joke.
Minor expenses didn't even total ten dollars.
Would I do it again? Absolutely. Was I stupid about it? You bet. Did I deserve the talking-to I got from my mother? Yes.
Why did I wait until I turned 25 to do stupid things...? The mind boggles. Hrnh. I have to learn this whole "fiscal responsibility" thing, or I'm going to put my mother in an early grave.
I should challenge her. I'll be fiscally responsible for as long as she quits smoking. This is a bad idea somewhere on par with putting gerbils up your butt or cliff-diving off Niagara Falls. That said, it is tempting...
current mood:  content
|
|
(1 comment | comment on this)
|
| Friday, July 31st, 2009
| |
11:58 am
|
The "You Should Write..." Meme!
my thread here
➀ Post a comment with your username
➁ Post the link to your thread on your journal
➂ Your friends/random people/I can comment on your thread with what they think you should write next.
➃ Anything goes. This is mainly a fanfic meme, but other things like poetry and original fiction are okay to suggest too.
➄ PIMP THIS THING.
|
|
(3 comments | comment on this)
|
| Saturday, July 18th, 2009
| |
3:17 am - Amber rankings as I've sketched them out
|
Psyche:
Benedict: 15 (10th)
Bleys: 20 (9th)
Brand: 135 (1st)
Caine: 43 (6th)
Corwin: 21 (8th)
Deirdre: 25 (7th)
Eric: 40 (5th)
Fiona: 122 (2nd)
Flora: 55 (3rd)
Gerard: 0 (12th)
Julian: 5 (11th)
Llewella: 85 (3rd)
Random: 50 (4th)
Strength:
Benedict: 40 (2nd)
Bleys: 25 (5th)
Brand: 0 (10th)
Caine: 10 (9th)
Corwin: 16 (7th)
Deirdre: 35 (3rd)
Eric: 15 (8th)
Fiona: 0 (10th)
Flora: 20 (6th)
Gerard: 120 (1st)
Julian: 35 (3rd)
Llewella: 30 (4th)
Random: 35 (3rd)
Endurance:
Benedict: 45 (2nd)
Bleys: 25 (5th)
Brand: 0 (8th)
Caine: 25 (6th)
Corwin: 81 (1st)
Deirdre: 35 (4th)
Eric: 35 (4th)
Fiona: 0 (8th)
Flora: 20 (7th)
Gerard: 40 (3rd)
Julian: 15 (6th)
Llewella: 40 (3rd)
Random: 35 (4th)
Warfare:
Benedict: 135 (1st)
Bleys: 82 (3rd)
Brand: 0 (11th)
Caine: 40 (7th)
Corwin: 85 (2nd)
Deirdre: 80 (4th)
Eric: 85 (2nd)
Fiona: 0 (11th)
Flora: 20 (10th)
Gerard: 35 (8th)
Julian: 45 (6th)
Llewella: 25 (9th)
Random: 75 (5th)
Some of these are just right. Some of them need tweaking. Hm.
|
|
(comment on this)
|
| |
2:06 am - Amber Royals Colors and Standards
|
Let's see how many of these I can remember. And how many of them ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) infinitepryde has to correct me on.
Benedict: Brown, yellow, and orange. Standard: A lance wrapped in flowers?
Eric: Red and Black: Standard: A pair of crossed swords.
Corwin: Black and silver. Standard: A silver rose on a black background.
Deirdre: Black and silver Standard: A double-edged battle axe.
Bleys: Red and orange. Standard: An open spellbook. Bollocks. It should be a sword and a goblet.
Brand: Green and... white? Standard: A shooting star, if I remember.
Fiona: Green and Red? Standard: Inverted pentacle. There's a reason why it's feared...
Julian: White. Standard: Either a horse's head or a hound's.
Gerard: Blue and gray Standard: Drinking horn?
Caine: Colors: Black and green. Standard: A dagger and... something.
Random: Brown and yellow/gold. Standard: A drum set. Which I thought was really retarded. But would be like him.
Flora: Blue and green. Standard: Uh.
Llewella: Gray, green, and lavender. Standard: A conch shell, if I remember correctly...
|
|
(4 comments | comment on this)
|
| Wednesday, July 15th, 2009
| |
1:23 pm - Today's itenerary:
|
1: Exercise. 15 minutes on the bike, 50 squats, 200 crunches, 100 pushups.
2: Group therapy. 2:30-4:00.
3: Do laundry.
4: Clean kitchen.
5: Clean living room.
6: Clean room.
7: Clean bathrooms.
|
|
(comment on this)
|
| Wednesday, July 8th, 2009
| |
2:32 am - Best Little Whorehouse In Texas - "Sidestep"
|
|
| Tuesday, July 7th, 2009
| |
12:08 pm - Stolen from infinitepryde
|
Inspired by Doctor Who's "Turn Left:" Pick one of my stories and tell me a point in the tale that you'd change. Something tiny (e.g. "and then Fay chose silver glitter instead of gold") or big (e.g. "and then Rose was arrested instead of Jack") and I'll tell you how that one difference would have altered the course of the entire story.
I am defining 'story' sufficiently widely to include roleplay and just about anything else anybody wants to throw in the pot, canon probably included.
|
|
(1 comment | comment on this)
|
| Thursday, June 11th, 2009
| |
9:13 pm - The Week of the Mountain of Turds
|
For those of you who do not know, my great uncle Frank passed away. They called him "Shine" and I never really knew why. Uncle Shine, Grandpa Shine, just Shine.
There was never just being "acquainted" with Shine--to know him was to consider him a good friend. He could hold a conversation with almost anyone on almost any subject. It didn't matter whether a person was 20 or 90--they'd get into a conversation with him and be instantly won over.
He was an extremely multitalented and intelligent man; he could sail, tar roofs, was pre-med at Syracuse University, was a janitor at York Central School and taught science in Mount Morris. But he was also a man defined by his vices in a lot of ways--he had a notorious love for the drink, and an equally notorious libido. He was an alcoholic. You could set your clock by what bars Shine was at.
While he was everyone's friend, his relationship with his family was complicated; he had several disagreements with his children over the years, was not speaking with his older sister when she died, and was barely speaking to his brother. (He got along well with my late grandmother to the best of my knowledge, his sister who died before I was born. For his 80th birthday, we gave him a photo of her and he wept openly.)
He was also a very, very stubborn man.
He made it to 84 before a lifetime of partying did him in. He had a massive heart attack while singing karaoke at a birthday party, and passed away early on the morning of May 8, 2009.
Hundreds attended his calling hours. The wake and after-service party were just the sort of affairs he would've hated to have missed.
He left behind three daughters and a son, and many grandchildren. And a lot of people lamenting the good times that will never spring up around him again.
Frank "Shine" Alianell
1925-2009
Goodbye, Uncle Frank. I love you. Everyone who knew you loved you.
Nobody's immortal; some people ought to be.
|
|
(comment on this)
|
| Thursday, May 7th, 2009
| |
12:32 am - Sabbat Mix
|
Disc 1:
Alice Cooper - "Brutal Planet"
Alice Cooper - "Feed My Frankenstein"
Carpathian Forest - "Cold Murderous Music"
Carpathian Forest - "Last Sigh of Nostalgia"
Castlevania - "Bloody Tears (Piano)"
Casthevania - "Dance of Illusions"
Lacrimosa - "Crucifixio"
Lordi - "Blood Red Sandman"
Lordi - "Bringing Back the Balls to Rock"
Lordi - "Hard Rock Hallelujah"
Lustmord - "Infinite Domain"
Lustmord - "Prime"
The Minibosses - "Castlevania Medley"
White Zombie - "More Human than Human"
White Zombie - "Thunder Kiss 65"
Wumpscut - "Cannibal Anthem"
Disc 2:
Wumpscut - "Wreath of Barbs"
Nox Arcana - "Castle Dracula"
Nox Arcana - "Night of the Wolf"
Nox Arcana - "The Voyage"
Rob Zombie - "Lords of Salem"
VTM: Bloodlines OST - "Disturbed and Twisted"
VTM: Bloodlines OST - "Police Alert"
VTM: Bloodlines OST - "The Asp Hole"
VTM: Bloodlines OST - "Downtown"
Unknown - "Tzimisce Mix"
Marilyn Manson - "I Put A Spell On You"
Nina Simone - "Sinnerman"
|
|
(comment on this)
|
| Thursday, April 2nd, 2009
| |
12:26 pm - Meme
|
Taken from joiedecombat, because I too would like to get to know my friends a little better. Answer these questions in a comment, and then post this list in your LJ (if you want).
01) Are you currently in a serious relationship?
02) What was your dream growing up?
03) What talent do you wish you had?
04) If I bought you a drink what would it be?
05) Favorite vegetable?
06) What was the last book you read?
07) What zodiac sign are you?
08) Any tattoos and/or piercings? Explain where.
09) Worst habit?
10) If you saw me walking down the street would you offer me a ride?
11) What is your favorite sport?
12) Do you have a pessimistic or optimistic attitude?
13) What would you do if you were stuck in an elevator with me?
14) Worst thing to ever happen to you?
15) Tell me one weird fact about you.
16) Do you have any pets?
17) What if I showed up at your house unexpectedly?
18) What was your first impression of me?
19) Do you think clowns are cute or scary?
20) If you could change one thing about how you look, what would it be?
21) Would you be my crime partner or my conscience?
22) What color eyes do you have?
23) Ever been arrested?
24) Bottle or can soda?
25) If you won $10,000 today, what would you do with it?
27) What's your favorite place to hang out at?
28) Do you believe in ghosts?
29) Favorite thing to do in your spare time?
30) Do you swear a lot?
31) Biggest pet peeve?
32) In one word, how would you describe yourself?
33) Do you believe/appreciate romance?
34) Favourite and least favourite food?
35) Do you believe in God?
36) Will you repost this so I can fill it out and do the same for you?
|
|
(1 comment | comment on this)
|
| Tuesday, March 10th, 2009
| |
4:59 pm
|
1. Drop down to 230 215-210 Lbs. before August ends.
Checked my weight this morning. 228 Lbs. Most of this is stress-induced weight loss so I'm not counting it as net benefit, but it does mean that I need to set my goals lower, so that when my mood does fully stabilize I don't go shooting right back up to 250.
That, and I'm still carrying a lot of weight around my belly, which I'd like to shed.
|
|
(comment on this)
|
| Sunday, March 8th, 2009
| |
10:33 pm - Self-Management: Goals
|
1. Drop down to 230 Lbs. before August ends.
I don't know how feasible this one is. I don't know what my natural, healthy weight is. I don't know where I'll plateau. I don't know what will happen to my weight if I start turning fat into muscle (a secondary goal). But this is my goal. I normally float around 250; I want to change that.
How do I plan to accomplish this? By eating differently, not necessarily less. The anxiety and depression started me down that road, but not in a healthy way. I was eating less. I watched my pants get looser and looser. I need to change my diet (and only in the western world do you get *fatter* when you're poor; that's just broken), reduce how much I eat in a sitting and exercise every day. Even when I don't go to the gym, that means jogging, pushups, and situps.
I have to learn to crave exercise. I'm getting there, slowly. It feels *so good*. But how fast we forget...
2. Be able to do a set of ten full push-ups before the end of August.
See above. This is harder than it sounds, considering that I have never, ever been in shape and especially lack upper body strength (which is sad, for a 250 pound man). But if I can strike off this goal in August, I'll be seriously proud of myself.
3. Wean myself off the prozac before August.
If I can glue myself together enough that I don't need the little blue pills anymore, it'll be an accomplishment. How do I plan to do this? Fuck if I know, but I suspect it has something to do with all the other goals on this list. I'll get back to you.
4. Finish this semester with good grades.
I just bombed a test, so this one's actually got a chance of failure attached to it. Though I guess I'm still doing okay. Graduate school is HARD, and I could not have been more unprepared for it when I got here. The obvious solution? Try harder.
5. Get A Job
...Pending! I'll get back to you.
6. Get something published before the end of the year.
This one's ambitious... except when I say published I mean "anywhere." But it does lead into...
7. Get a novel published before I turn thirty.
I'm giving myself five years to do this. And this is the one I want to accomplish the most. I have no idea how I'm going to do it, but fuck. I CAN DO IT.
8. Get laid before I turn twenty-six.
...Bahahahahaha. I don't even know where to begin, short of soliciting a hooker. Again--I'll get back to you.
|
|
(1 comment | comment on this)
|
|
|
|
|
